As we approach the one night of the year in the U.K on which it is acceptable to celebrate death and fear, it seems appropriate to ask why this is the only time of the year these subjects are made public and talked about so openly? Death and fear remain taboo subjects in our culture, but is this the way things should be? Will this always be the natural order of things? Or should we be more open to talking about death? No matter how far forward our generation has come in terms of talking about feelings, self help books and dealing with all the mushy stuff, death and horror still remain topics to create awkward silences.
I don’t want anyone to think I’m someone who’s in love with the idea of death; I’m as terrified of it as the next person. However, I am curious as to why a sub-culture has developed in society that does have an infatuation, of sorts, with the morbid and the dark. I am of course talking about “Goths”. Just like anything to do with death, these people exist on the fringes of social groups, and really of society. Typing “goth” in to the Google search bar actually brought up some very surprising results that I wasn’t expecting. Apparently, the Goths who embrace death are shunned by “true” Goths. According to “The Real Gothic FAQ”, those who really embrace the death side of things (black lips, coffin accessories, permanent Halloween attire) are those who are, in reality, depressed and believe this will show evidence of their “depth”. Is this an argument as to why death should remain taboo? Perhaps, if it is going to stop us living in the present.
On the other hand, the urge to rush through the process of grief and to try and keep people who are grieving as busy as possible can often have detrimental affects. If we do not address grief and the reality of death it quite commonly will either build up inside us and explode, or manifest itself in some other unfortunate way; breaking down every time you hear that song, never being able to visit that place. If death isn’t spoken about or faced head on, it lingers and becomes bigger than it really is. Death is going to happen to all of us, there’s no hiding from it, but I think that it is really the fear of leaving all that we know and love and entering into the total unknown, is what scares us the most. There needs to be some kind of balance between accepting death, ironically, as part of life. Freud wrote a whole essay on “The Uncanny”, and how it is the un-familiar that becomes horror, or things we know being twisted so that they are disturbing. Yes, horror films and murders are justifiably scary, and not so necessary to focus on, but death in its most basic form, is simply like the leaves falling off the trees and flowers dying.
Instead of Halloween, where death is commercially exploited and made a joke of, maybe we should follow Mexico’s example. The “Day of the Dead” takes its place in the calendar on the same date as Halloween, but it has earned status as a national holiday. It’s a day to honour the dead and celebrate the lives of those who have gone before us, and shrines and altars are made for the dead, filled with their favourite foods, drinks objects. I’m sure you’re thinking that this doesn’t sound all that different to Halloween, but if you think about it, this could be the perfect way to solve the problem of the death taboo. It’s a positive celebration, a chance for a party where people openly acknowledge that death is with us all the time and instead of coping with it through silly films and costumes we should try and be happy about the lives of those we’ve lost. It’s not as if we couldn’t still dress up, (you should see some of the costumes in the Day of the Dead parades – terrifying), but surely this is a more respectful way to enjoy, so to speak, death. It also promotes the need to talk about it with those around you, rather than bottling things up.
It would seem that death is always going to be a slightly tricky subject. I don’t want to suggest wallowing in grief to anyone; it’s just not healthy. But, I am sure that death shouldn’t be a money-maker for the high street every time Halloween comes around, and people shouldn’t have to be so terribly British when it comes to dealing with grief. Death’s certainly not going anywhere, so let’s live with it.
Rachel Rapp
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